b. reid lewis

queer activist, technologist, writer, hacker

"Queer not as being about who you're having sex with (that can be a dimension of it); but queer as being about the self that is at odds with everything around it and has to invent and create and find a place to speak and to thrive and to live."
bell hooks


Introduction

This is a page of resources I've put together to help educate folks on my queer and non-binary identity. If you're not sure what queer or non-binary mean, check out the definitions section before jumping to the resources. I plan to update this page as I am introduced to new videos, articles, books, and podcasts that I think could be helpful to people, so consider checking back here in the future.

You might also want to check out my blog posts Coming Out Queer and Coming Out a Second Time for a more personal view.

tl;dr

  • if you don't already know me by Bron, call me Reid - either is ultimately OK, but Reid is my chosen name, and if that's the name you've been given in the context of knowing me, please use it
  • words I use for myself are queer, non-binary, and trans - I'm still figuring out if genderqueer feels right to me and I do not like the term enby used for myself
  • my pronouns are they/them/their
  • an acceptable honorific is Mx.
  • ommer is a genderqueer term that can be used in place of aunt/uncle that I like
  • don't use gendered language for me, including honorifics, pronouns, and familial terms which connotate someone being a man or woman

Definitions

These definitions, while used by many, are specific to my identity and my experience. Not everyone will agree with these. Please respect people's labels and definitions.

queer

Queer is an umbrella term and identity that feels most comfortable to me because it acknowledges both whom I am attracted to, as well as my non-binary gender. It's expansive and not constraining. It communicates that I'm not part of the assumed modern societal default of being cisgender and heterosexual. While queer was once primarily used as a slur, it has been reclaimed by many in the LGBTQIAP+ community.

bisexual / pansexual

While many folks think of bisexual as being attracted to both men and women, I consider it being attracted to those of a similar gender as well as genders different from my own. Pansexual often is defined as being attracted to many or all genders. While I prefer the term queer for myself, I sometimes use bisexual or pansexual to help combat bisexual/pansexual erasure.

non-binary

Non-binary is both an umbrella term and a gender identity, and is considered to fall under the transgender umbrella. It can mean a lot of differrent things, including not exclusively male or female (the gender binary), not having a gender at all, or having a gender outside of the gender binary spectrum. Folks who identify as non-binary may or may not identify as transgender. I am neither a man nor a woman, so I am a non-binary person.

transgender

Trans and cis are Latin prefixes. If you are transgender, it means you do not identify with the gender you were assigned at birth. If you are cisgender, it means you do identify with the gender you were assigned at birth. Since I'm non-binary and do not identify with what I was assigned at birth, I consider myself transgender.

pronouns

Pronouns are words used to refer to people, such as he/him/his, she/her/her, or they/them/their. Yes, singular they is a thing and has a long history in the English language. There are also neo pronouns. Personally, I use they/them/their.

Resources

Pronouns

Gender

Books

Podcasts